Dear Foreign Dictator,
Congratulations on the purchase of your genuine Hillary Clinton Pay-For-Play® deal. With regular supplemental funding, your Pay-For-Play® purchase should provide you with a lifetime of weapons deals and special treatment.
Before you request more favors on your behalf by the United States Secretary of State, Team Hillary asks that you fill out our customer service card below.
1. Which Pay-For-Play® favors did you purchase?
__ Arms Sales
__ Uranium Sales
__ Federal Contracts
__ State Secrets
__ Insider Trading Info
__ Diplomatic Concessions
2. How did you hear about our Pay-For-Play® deals? (Please check all that apply.)
__ MSM Advertisements
__ Over Pizza (ahem)
__ Recommended by Lobbyist
__ Recommended by DNC or GOPe
__ The Huffington Post (HuffPo)
3. How do you expect to use your Pay-For-Play® benefits? (Please check all that apply.)
__ Get Cost-Plus Federal Contract Awards
__ Start a Civil War
__ Overturn a Foreign Government
__ Avoid Being Overturned
__ Shut Down American Mines
__ Get Trade Concessions
We here at the Hillary Clinton Pay-For-Play® headquarters in Washington, D.C. are looking forward to doing additional illicit business with you again soon. Remember, we accept gold, uncut diamonds, all currencies, and major credit cards.