Kathy Griffin is Sorry

Kathy Griffin's apology for her mock assassination and beheading of President Donald Trump is worth less than a pair of running shoes would be to Hillary Clinton.

Blood Will Tell

Trump supporters: Mostly Blood Type "O" Positive. 

Hillary supporters: Mostly Hepatitis Type "B" Positive.

Deductive Reasoning

Q. How do we know Hillary didn't murder Seth Rich? 

A. His wallet wasn't taken.

Election Night Reference

In a Fox News report this week on Hillary Clinton's bitter Wellesley commencement speech, Tucker Carlson joked, "Surprising she gave the address herself, rather than sending John Podesta to give it for her."

Political Climate Change

The Washington Post is hysterically demanding that people quit raising questions about Hillary Clinton and the unsolved murder of Seth Rich. According to the fake-news newspaper, the narrative is settled.

Graft or Grift?

In the wake of her disastrous failure to take over America, Hillary Clinton has returned to her rent seeking roots by creating Onward Together, a non-profit fund-raising front that isn't legally required to disclose donors. If that doesn't work, she intends to start a GoFundMe account. 

Hear No Evil

Elizabeth Warren (Hillary Clinton's Mini-Me) is pushing a bill in Congress, the Over-the-Counter Hearing Aid Act of 2017, to block the sale of over-the-counter hearing aids because too many people might be using them to listen to "fake news." Fauxcahontas is also considering legislation to ban binoculars over concerns with smoke signal reading. 

Encroaching Senility

Hillary Clinton has denounced the "timing" of President Trump's decision to fire the disgraced former FBI Director James Comey. Hillary demanded to know why Donald didn't fire Comey before the election.

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Be happy that Hillary Clinton nacho President!

Champion of what?

Hillary Clinton just appeared at the 100th-anniversary celebration of Planned Parenthood, where she received their Champion of the Century Award. The wife of former President Bill Clinton proclaimed, "We can never let them grind us down." 

The shrieking applause from the assembled abortionists drowned out the rest of her statement, "So we have to kill them and sell their parts first."