Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Onion's Top Five Hillary Clinton Jokes

As reported in The Free Thought Project, The Onion has been purchased by Univision Communications, which is co-owned by one of Hillary Clinton’s biggest campaign donors, Haim Saban. However, to prove to the world that they were not going to turn into a sycophantic propaganda machine devoted to kissing Hillary's pantsuit, The Onion has just published their top five hard-hitting Hillary Clinton jokes. Enjoy!
Q. Why does Hillary Clinton always wear a freshly pressed pantsuit?
A. Because Hillary Clinton's has tremendous responsibilities, and it is important that she maintains a serious and professional appearance.  

Q. How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Just one. Hillary Clinton is a very self-reliant woman and is fully capable of doing anything that a man can do.

Q. If Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders both jumped off of a building at the same time, who would hit the ground first?

A. They would both hit the ground at the same time. Gender doesn't affect acceleration due to gravity, or the ability to be a great President. 

Q. What's worse than Hillary Clinton finding a worm in her apple?

A. World hunger.

A fortune teller told Hillary Clinton, “If you are elected, your husband Bill will die a horrible death.” Hillary replied, “Then I will have to drop out of the race for President of the United States, despite my tremendous popularity with the public and my certainty of winning. I could never be the cause of harm to another human being.”

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